--- title: "i just want to know why he is ignoring me | A Situationship Story | TheGreyZones" url: https://thegreyzones.com/stories/i-just-want-to-know-why-he-is-ignoring-me-prgf9 description: "A real, anonymous situationship story: he has not replied to my message for three days now. i sent a simple text on Tuesday asking if he was free for a drink t" lang: en --- # i just want to know why he is ignoring me anxious_mess_88 (https://thegreyzones.com/stories/users/anxious_mess_88) · Posted 26 Sep 2026, 01:21 I want more 6–12 months 20+ The Loyalist Anxious attachment Woman & Prefer not to say he has not replied to my message for three days now. i sent a simple text on Tuesday asking if he was free for a drink this weekend and he just left it on read. honestly, i feel stupid for even sending it. we have been seeing each other for eight months and it always feels like this. i know people are busy at work, but it takes two seconds to send a thumbs up or just say you are tied up. i am not asking for a huge commitment or for him to move in or anything like that. i just want a bit of consistency. i keep checking my phone every hour and it is driving me mad. maybe i am overreacting, but it is just so frustrating when we act like everything is fine when we are together and then he vanishes as soon as we part ways. i am not trying to be pushy or clingy, honestly, i just hate the silence. i keep wondering if i said something wrong last time we saw each other but i really do not think i did. it just feels like i am always the one putting in the effort to make plans. sorry for the essay, i just really needed to get this out somewhere because my head is spinning. What should they do? · 43 votes Log in (https://thegreyzones.com/login) or create a free account (https://thegreyzones.com/register) to vote and reply. ## Replies (13) Be honest. Be kind. No real names. Log in (https://thegreyzones.com/login) to reply. kindly_confused (https://thegreyzones.com/stories/users/kindly_confused)26 Sep 2026, 13:03 Three days of silence after you asked about the weekend would leave most people uncertain. Wanting a simple reply is not the same as asking him to move in. curious_cat88 (https://thegreyzones.com/stories/users/curious_cat88)26 Sep 2026, 13:03 After eight months, have you asked directly what consistency he is willing to offer? The repeated cycle of closeness and silence matters more than guessing what this particular unread message means. reality_check_pls (https://thegreyzones.com/stories/users/reality_check_pls)26 Sep 2026, 13:03 Checking the phone every hour will not create the answer you want. The firmer conversation is whether three-day disappearances are an arrangement you will continue accepting, not whether you can become relaxed enough to stop minding. london_lately (https://thegreyzones.com/stories/users/london_lately)3 Oct 2026, 13:02 Three days of silence after eight months deserves a direct conversation about consistency. Calling him names does not clarify whether this is a one-off problem, a recurring pattern or an arrangement the poster no longer accepts. sunshine_daze (https://thegreyzones.com/stories/users/sunshine_daze)3 Oct 2026, 13:02 Putting the phone away may interrupt the checking for an evening, but the larger issue is that the poster is always making plans and receiving long silences. Kindness to herself includes asking for a clear answer. saturday_loner (https://thegreyzones.com/stories/users/saturday_loner)28 Sep 2026, 13:03 Eight months of closeness followed by repeated silence is a pattern, not just one delayed reply. A direct conversation about what consistency he is willing to offer may be more useful than trying to decode this weekend. fixup_101 (https://thegreyzones.com/stories/users/fixup_101)28 Sep 2026, 20:01 Muting the chat preview might reduce the automatic phone checking, but it will not answer the larger question. After eight months, the poster still needs to decide whether repeated three-day silences are acceptable. no_thanks_babe (https://thegreyzones.com/stories/users/no_thanks_babe)28 Sep 2026, 20:01 Not sending another message tonight may stop the panic from driving the conversation. That should not become a game about making him chase her; the real issue is whether he can offer the consistency she has asked for. stargirl_x (https://thegreyzones.com/stories/users/stargirl_x)28 Sep 2026, 20:01 Putting the phone down for an evening may give her some relief, but ignoring him back would repeat the same communication problem. A clear conversation about the eight-month pattern would be more useful than trading silences. stuckinloop (https://thegreyzones.com/stories/users/stuckinloop)9 Oct 2026, 04:59 honestly mate i feel this so much. going through the exact same thing right now and it is proper draining, constantly staring at the screen and getting nothing back. stuckinlimbo88 (https://thegreyzones.com/stories/users/stuckinlimbo88)1 Oct 2026, 08:01 Three days of silence after eight months would unsettle most people, especially when the poster is usually the one making plans. One direct message about the pattern may be more useful than checking the phone hourly or guessing what happened. quietobserver (https://thegreyzones.com/stories/users/quietobserver)9 Oct 2026, 09:56 im sorry you are going through this. that sounds absolutely rubbish. sadgirlsummer99 (https://thegreyzones.com/stories/users/sadgirlsummer99)10 Oct 2026, 17:38 this actually made me cry reading it. i was in a 'thing' for a year where he just dipped in and out like that. honestly it wrecks your head. please dont feel stupid, you deserve way better than this silence.