---
title: "justtryingtoheal (not ready): 1 situationship story, 0 replies | TheGreyZones"
url: https://thegreyzones.com/stories/users/justtryingtoheal
description: "justtryingtoheal on TheGreyZones: 1 anonymous situationship story and 0 replies, written from the side that isn't ready. Posting since October 2026. Latest: \"I"
lang: en
---

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# justtryingtoheal

Every situationship story and reply justtryingtoheal has posted on TheGreyZones, anonymous by design. Writing from I'm not ready (1).

Stories

1

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0

First seen

4 Oct 2026

Last active

4 Oct 2026

## Stories (1)

### I wanted to be single until I actually went on a date

I’m 27 and I ended a ten-month relationship three weeks ago because I wanted to be single. I am calling it a relationship now. I avoided that word while we were in it. We were not officially together, but we were exclusive in practice. I saw her every Tuesday and most Saturdays. She knew my friends, kept shampoo at my flat and was the person I called when my car failed its MOT. She asked more than once whether we were building towards being a couple. I kept saying I was not ready. What I meant was that I liked her and did not want to lose her, but I also wanted the freedom to date other people and have a life that did not need to be discussed with anybody. She said she could not keep being almost chosen, so I ended it rather than ask her to wait. I felt relieved for about ten days. On Friday I went on my first date from an app. The woman was funny, attractive and had done nothing wrong. I still spent the evening noticing that she did not tell stories like my ex, did not order the same drink and did not know why a particular pub quiz answer would make me laugh. I left after one drink and called my ex on the walk home. She did not answer. The next morning she sent one message: “I cannot be the person you call whenever being single feels bad.” I was angry for five minutes and then embarrassed, because she was right. I have spent the weekend wondering whether the bad date means I made a mistake. The honest answer is that I do not know yet. I miss the familiarity, the Tuesday routine and being known without having to explain myself. I also still cannot picture offering the relationship she wanted without immediately feeling trapped by it. Missing her does not solve that. I sent one apology for calling. I did not add a question or ask whether she missed me. We have agreed not to contact each other for six weeks. I have also paused the dating apps. Not because I am secretly waiting for her, and not because one awkward drink has proved I am meant to be in a relationship. I do not think using new people to numb the silence is fair either. I made being single sound like freedom and being her boyfriend sound like a loss of freedom. At the moment, both choices feel uncomfortable. That does not mean I get to keep her available while I work out which discomfort I prefer.

13 votes 4 replies justtryingtoheal
https://thegreyzones.com/stories/wanted-to-be-single-until-first-date

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