--- title: "stuck_in_loops (not ready): 1 situationship story, 0 replies | TheGreyZones" url: https://thegreyzones.com/stories/users/stuck_in_loops description: "stuck_in_loops on TheGreyZones: 1 anonymous situationship story and 0 replies, written from the side that isn't ready. Posting since October 2026. Latest: \"I sa" lang: en --- All stories (https://thegreyzones.com/stories) Community member # stuck_in_loops Every situationship story and reply stuck_in_loops has posted on TheGreyZones, anonymous by design. Writing from I'm not ready (1). Stories 1 Replies 0 First seen 3 Oct 2026 Last active 3 Oct 2026 ## Stories (1) ### I said I was separated. I didn’t say we still shared a house I’m 41 and I have been seeing a man of 39 for seven weeks. I told him on our first date that I was separated from my wife. I did not tell him that she still lives in the same house. That is not a small detail accidentally left out. My wife and I separated fourteen months ago after twelve years together. We have a ten-year-old son and a mortgage neither of us can cover alone. The house is on the market, but two sales have fallen through. She sleeps in the spare room. We split school mornings and cook separately most of the time. She has been dating somebody else since spring. There is no romantic relationship between us. There is still a shared bathroom, a family calendar on the fridge and the sound of her looking for her keys while I am on a phone call with the man I am dating. When he asked about my living situation, I said I was still in the family house while we sorted the sale. Technically true. Deliberately incomplete. I told myself seven weeks was too early to explain the whole arrangement. Really, I wanted him to meet the version of me who was fully available before he saw the life I am still untangling. He found out on Thursday. He dropped me home after dinner because it was raining. My wife opened the door in her dressing gown to ask whether I had taken the car key. She introduced herself. Nobody behaved badly. That somehow made it worse. He asked me in the car whether she lived there. I said yes. He went very quiet and then said the living arrangement was not necessarily the problem. The problem was that I had let him assume something else every time we discussed where we spent our nights. He is right. I tried to explain the mortgage, our son and the failed sales. He said he understood all of that. He did not understand why I thought those facts gave me permission to hide them. We have not ended things. He has asked for a few days without contact while he decides whether he wants to continue. My wife thinks I should have told him on date one. I was annoyed by that because she waited a month to tell her girlfriend. Then I realised a month is still earlier than being discovered at the front door. I am not secretly hoping to get back with my wife. I am also not living a clean, independent single life. Both are true. This morning I wrote him one message with the information I should have given him before: the house is for sale, there is no completion date, my wife and I share parenting and bills, and I cannot promise when one of us will move out. I apologised without asking him to reassure me. I have not sent another message. If he decides the arrangement is too complicated, that will hurt. If he decides the dishonesty is the deal-breaker, I will understand that too. I kept thinking clarity would make me look unavailable. Hiding the reality made me unavailable in a much more important way. 35 votes 12 replies stuck_in_loops https://thegreyzones.com/stories/separated-still-sharing-house ## Replies (0) No replies yet.